barnfullawalkers v. The TWD Season 6 Trailer: The Breakdown

Well, loves, after watching the SDCC TWD Season 6 trailer a few weeks ago, I came away feeling shaken, unsettled, and sure of only one thing:

Shit’s blowing up inside and outside Alexandria’s steel walls in Season 6!

After TWD’s Season 5 explosive finale episode, and the angsty SDCC Season 6 promotional poster image, we TWD fans knew that our first glimpse of the Season 6 trailer was going to be…unnerving, to say the least.

What we were met with when we sat down to watch said trailer left many of us TWD fans shocked, slack-mouthed, and gripping our half-empty tall boys for dear life in the throes of yet another TWD “WTF?” moment.

Like, seriously, people…WTF is going on in that trailer?

Did we just see…Tara…on her back, pinned by a horde of leering, hungry walkers, screaming as Bite The Boob Walker lunges towards her womanly assets to claim First Bite?

Zut alors!

Nooooo! 

When I first watched the trailer, I thought the poor woman being overrun, and most probably chomped, by the horde of walkers was Maggie, pinned, helpless, screaming on the sidewalk, with so many walkers clawing and crawling up her enviable curves. It was really hard to tell who it was…all I could tell was that the poor overrun, about-to-be-chomped woman had dark hair, beautiful eyebrows, and that she was one of our key characters…a beloved member of our sweet gang who seemed about to be done for.

At first, I was like, “Nooo! Maggie! and then, with the help of repeated playbacks and some edifying Youtube comments,  I realized it was Tara underneath the walkers.

Then, I was like, “Nooo! Tara!

Ummmm, Kirkman? Gimple? Are you really going to do us TWD fans, and Tara, like that, and show it on the trailer, or are you two tricksters at it again, indulging in your favorite pastime, playing with our emotions?

At the SDCC 2015 TWD panel, Scott M. Gimple straight-up copped to “putting things in the trailers that don’t actually happen in the show.”

Oh, really, Smoke & Mirrors Gimple?  You don’t say…like when you guys put that Gareth line in the Season 5 trailer that threw me off the trail and led me to form the completely wrong Evil Terminal Twin Conspiracy Theory,  the one which never actually happened?

Fool me once, Kirkman and Gimple…I am no longer the naive TWD fan of a year ago…I am onto you now, sirs! 

(Speaking of Scott M. Gimple, I am liking the new wild, wooly, “Rick’s Beard-esque” look that he was rocking at the SDCC2015 TWD panel …)

Looking good, bud! Rugged.

Looking good, bud! Rugged. 🙂

The question simmers in our TWD obsessed hearts…what really awaits us TWD fans in Season 6?

Aside from Kirkman, Gimple, Nicotero, and the blood & guts cast/crew of TWD, nobody can say for sure…we can only speculate, ruminate, and of course, self-medicate to calm our frazzled hearts, minds, and spirits as we cast about wild theories on social media and in the IRL.

Some questions burning a hole in my heart include:

Is war coming to Alexandria…or has it already arrived?  And if so, who’s on whose side? Who’s coming? Who’s going? Who’s gonna live? Who’s gonna die? Who’s gonna make up? Who’s gonna break up?

And, most importantly, who’s gonna hook up?

Will Season 6 bring us…

...invading walker armies?

Invading walker armies?

Eligible bachelors?

Tasty new eligible bachelors?

Rick v Morgan?

Rick v Morgan?

Horrific deaths of beloved characters?

Horrific deaths of beloved characters?

Bromances? Love triangles? Sexy swingles?

Hot bromances? Love triangles? Sexy swingles?

…and will Season 6 bring us…gulp

Negan?

Negan?

Ok, taking some deep breaths heredeep breaths….at this point in the writing, I needed to get up, reup, and take a few cleansing breaths, bring the heart rate back down.  I cannot lie, dear readers… the prospect of Negan scares the crap out of me.

In the newest edition of Entertainment Weekly, the cover story features a “First Look at Season 6 of The Walking Dead,” and in the article, when asked about the possibility of Negan coming into the Season 6 story line, Scott M. Gimple answered the question in his usual enigmatic style:

“It’s absolutely a possibility. And when I say it’s a possibility, we have a plan in place, but there’s a couple variables for that plan that we’re deciding about. It really depends on a few factors as we move into setting up the last bit of the season, storywise.” 

Gimple say what? That shit’s more confusing than a double-negative… it’s somewhere between a “yes,” a “maybe,” and a “not-no.” 

As Sterling Archer would say:

“That is just so classic Gimple.

(I must say, I have been wondering lately what the “M” in Scott M. Gimple actually stands for…my initial guess was “Michael,” but lately, I have been wondering if it stands for something more like, “Maverick,” “Madman,” “Mentalist,” or maybe “Mephistopheles.”)

Now, I did read an article a few months back about how, apparently, Robert Kirkman mentioned how great Jon Hamm would be in the role of Negan, and Jon Hamm, freshly sprung from the epic Mad Men tv series, laughed upon hearing this, and joked that Robert Kirkman should give him a call…

While Negan arriving on the scene would pretty much guarantee a new level of brutality, carnage, and certain heartache for us TWD tv series fans, Jon Hamm playing Negan would be totally amazing… and it would make TWD even more of a one-stop-shop for some of my very favorite dudes.

Jon Hamm as Negan might make the pain, bloodshed, and tears that Negan is sure to bring actually worth it, in the end.

Sigh… Maybe.  Maybe not.

All I can say, dear readers, is that it seems highly unlikely that Kirkman & Gimple, Inc. could resist bringing such an iconic, catalytic, deliciously evil villain from the comic series into the show…I mean really, how could they not? Not bringing Negan into the television series storyline would alienate the diehard fans, aka. The Comic Book Set.

I do feel, with some certainty, that Negan is coming to The Walking Dead television series, probably within the realm of Season 6.

Remember the Law of Kirkman, darlings:  Kirkman will do as Kirman wants, and Kirkman and Co. can (and will)  play with our emotions.  It’s nothing personal…it’s how he do!

We are all but puppets on Kirkman & Gimple’s strings, people, and we will are sure to get our asses kicked come October 11th, when the 90-minute The Walking Dead Season 6 premiere episode airs, and beyond, as we brave the harrowing journey that Kirkman, Gimple, Nicotero, Inc. have prepared for us.

To ease the exquisite torment as we await our collective fate, we TWD fans get a new and deliciously creepy spin-off show to look forward to, Fear the Walking Dead  (which debuts August 23rd, just a little more than a week away, at the time of this writing).

FTWD takes the viewers across the country from Atlanta to Los Angeles, and back in time, to the first days of the turn, when the living start dropping like flies and the undead still look pretty fresh…and as some are even saying, sexy.

sexy walker

Hmmmyep…def a strong contender for America’s Next Reanimated Top Model.

Personally, I am really excited about the new spinoff series.  I have wondered many times about the first days of the turn, and about what was happening in other parts of the country, and the world, as Rick and his people navigate their way through the walker apocalypse in the southeastern part of the United States.

While there have been many stories told, references made, and the occasional flashback to the beginning days of the turn in the TWD television series, we viewers have mainly experienced the walker apocalypse along with Deputy Rick Grimes, as he awakens from a coma, shuffles out of his hospital room, and enters the post-apocalyptic nightmare the world has become.

In Fear The Walking Dead, we get to see the beginning, as it’s happening, and judging from the promotional images and clips that are popping up, it looks…kind of terrifying.

ftwd promo

That dang L.A. zombie's fixin' to eat dem chillens!

That dang L.A. zombie’s fixin’ to eat dem chillens!

In addition to the FTWD promotional posters and images, Kirkman and Co. are dangling tantalizing teaser videos to whet our appetites for some undead epidemic mayhem on the western front:

And, thus, dear readers, amidst the lull of everyday life, a walker epidemic begins in the City of Angels…and for the viewers, so begins a new batch of zombie nightmares…and some serious day-spooks.

Thanks a lot, Kirkman. Really, dude…thanks for that.

Once again, thanks to Kirkman and Co., a whole world of freshly-minted FTWD fans are all going to be going about our daily business obsessively looking over our shoulders, jumping and screaming at any little noise

(Of course, despite my mock-protests, I am totally loving Kirkman & Co. once again slapping us up like the little bitches we are.) 😀

In addition to watching the TWD marathon this weekend, if you are one of the many fans who are experiencing a little “walker withdrawal” and would like to get a preview of the “first days of the turn” spooks that FTWD is sure to serve up, I would highly recommend watching The Walking Dead webisodes, if you haven’t already done so.

The webisodes are excellent, and super creepy, as they show harrowing glimpses of the first days of the turn, pre-Rick-waking-up-from-a-coma, in the suburban Atlanta area where the original TWD storyline is set.

(I do believe the webisodes are also where Greg Nicotero got his directing debut, and that’s super fun, too!) #padawandirector 

I provided a link below to one of my favorite webisodes, “Torn Apart,” the first of a three-part-series which tells the backstory of Hanna, the bike walker that Rick Grimes encounters in the very first episode of The Walking Dead, “Days Gone Bye.”

Bless u, Hanna Walker <3

God Bless Hanna Walker 

Click on the link below, close out the ad that pops up, and then you should be able to watch the webisode. )

https://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.amc.com/shows/the-walking-dead/video-extras/torn-apart-webisodes&sa=U&ved=0CBQQFjAIahUKEwjv04a2yuLGAhWLqIAKHXmAAEk&client=internal-uds-cse&usg=AFQjCNHAE1mFnbqH6xTEwPG3ZheEK5cC5w

You’re welcome.  🙂 ❤

Ok, people. Enough preamble. Let’s do this thing, shall we?  Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, may I present, for our collective reviewing pleasure:

barnfullawalkers v. The TWD Season 6 Trailer: The Breakdown

The TWD Season 6 trailer begins with a shot of Rick Grimes, running hard in the blazing sun, through simmering heat waves, down an empty road. Is he running for his life, or is he just doing some anger-management-interval-training, fartlek-style?

(I do not yet know, dear readers, but I do know that any chance I get to use the word fartlek, I take that shit and run with it, fartlek-style!) 😀

Our man Rick is clad in his civvies, his “off-constable duty” uniform of hotness: button down shirt, those skinny leg black jeans we love so well on him, with his black boots and a gun belt around his slim hips, with pistol, knife tucked in there somewhere…Rick’s wearing his arsenal, ready to mess up anyone, living or undead, who would dare to try. 

You wanna try Rick Grimes, motherfucker? Go ahead...let's see how that gets you.

The Entertainment Weekly article described how Andrew Lincoln, most probably during the filming of this scene, would sprint for 20 yards, then turn, and sprint 20 yards back, over and over again, for hours, in the blazing 95 degree Georgia heat, take after take, to keep it real, and believable, for the TWD viewing audience. “We’re suffering,” Lincoln said in the article. “And I think you can smell it.  I think the audience can smell it when it’s not authentic, if I’m supposed to have run for two miles chased by walkers. You’ve got to be beat up.” Hear that, Emmy snubbers?  Our man, Andrew Lincoln, is suffering for his art, keeping it real, time and time again, thus earning an unprecedented level of love and devotion from a whole world of TWD fans! #recognize 

As he sprints, we hear a voice over, Rick’s voice, saying, “We both started out in the same place.”

run rick 1.5

We hear Rick’s voice, urging, “You can come back from this…I know you can.” In the background of the voice over, we hear Rick’s boots hitting the asphalt, his breath huffing as he runs…

run rick 3

We then hear Morgan’s soft, melodious voice reply,Good people…they always die.”

rick runs close up

We recognize this exchange between Rick and Morgan from Season 3’s heartbreaking episode, “Clear,” when Rick, Michonne, and Carl return to the Grimes’ hometown sheriff’s station in search of weapons, and find Morgan holed up with an arsenal of weaponry from the sheriff’s station, broken, alone, and teetering on the brink of madness from the loss of his son, Duane.

Try as Rick might, he cannot convince Morgan to come back with them, and the episode ends with Rick, Michonne and Carl leaving  Morgan behind to continue his solitary work of methodically “clearing” the area of walkers, while Rick and the others, armed with a few more rifles and rounds, prepare to do battle with the Governor’s Woodbury army.

We hear Morgan's voice again, saying,

The Season 6 preview then shifts to a brief shot of Rick, face bloodied, in the moment before he pulls the trigger and puts a bullet McBeaty’s brains. We hear Morgan’s voice, “I’m a killer, Rick…and you are, too.” The gun blasts, and the screen goes black…

…and then…

...that horrible moment when Rick looks up from killing Pete and sees Aaron, Morgan, and Daryl standing there. Morgan looks up at Rick, stricken, manages one word,

…that horrible moment when Rick looks up from killing Pete and sees Aaron, Morgan, and Daryl standing there, shocked. Morgan looks up at Rick, stricken. “Rick?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, fuck…

...and so it begins.

…and so it begins.

Welcome to the aftermath.

welcome to alexandria

As the Bear McCreary score hums like a shrill flatline, we see images of the fallen sign welcoming visitors to the eco-friendly, sustainable community of Alexandria…then we see:

Deanna Monroe's bloodied hand, hanging limply, as the dying fire in the chiminea reflects in the pool Reg's blood.

Deanna Monroe’s bloodied hand, hanging limply, as the dying fire in the chiminea reflects in the large pool of Reg’s life’s blood.

With Gabriel standing in the background, we see Deanna's face, dull with shock and grief, as she stares down at the pool of her husband's blood...

With Gabriel standing in the background, we see Deanna’s face, dull with shock and grief, as she stares down at the pool of her beloved husband’s blood…

...from where he lay, just a short time before, bleeding out from a slash in his throat as his distraught wife held him, sobbing.

…from where he lay, just a short time before, bleeding out from a slash in his throat as his distraught wife held him, sobbing.

We then hear Rick’s voiceover, telling Morgan, “These people in here, they’ve been inside from the start…”

We see a shot of what looks like Deanna, standing within the relative safety of Reg's steel wall, with a handmade sign commemorating the first panel of the wall, signed

We see a shot of what looks like Deanna, standing within the relative safety of Reg’s steel wall, with a handmade sign commemorating Panel #1 of the wall, and signed Reg Monroe.

We then see what looks like a shot of Enid first approaching the walled community, dazed and wild-looking from her days of  surviving alone in the outside, and we hear Rick’s voice continue:

“…they haven’t had to survive.

We see a shot of the gates of Alexandria rolling open for Enid, as she stands, wide-eyed, clutching the straps of her backpack…her eyes show the shock and horror of all she has witnessed, all she has lost.

We hear Rick's voice conclude softly, grimly,

We hear Rick’s voice conclude softly, grimly, “They just don’t get it…they can’t.

We see a shot of Rick’s bloodied hand gently touch the map to D.C. that Morgan has been following in hopes of meeting back up with Rick, with Abraham’s note lettered in the bottom right-hand corner…

“The new world’s gonna need Rick Grimes!” To the left of the map, we see Morgan’s lucky rabbit’s foot, and a paperback book bearing the title, The Art Of Peace.

In the next shot, we see Rick, face still bloody, tell Morgan,

In the next shot, we see Rick, face still bloody, tell Morgan, “I don’t take chances anymore.” This scene seems to be taking place immediately after McBeaty’s execution, and Morgan’s untimely arrival to Alexandria.

The shot pans over to Morgan, who replies:

“And you shouldn’t.”

(So far in the trailer, not seeing evidence of the Morgan v. Rick potential scenario…yet.)

We see a shot of Rick, patrolling the empty streets of Alexandria, and then we see a shot of him approaching the wall, looking up towards the sky…

...and fire a single shot in the air, as we see a throng of many, many walkers pressing up against the walls of Alexandria.

We hear Rick’s voice tell someone, “Listen.” We see Rick point a gun toward the sky, firing a single shot in the air as we see a throng of many, many walkers pressing up against the walls of Alexandria. Holy shit!

I wondered about this, when I first watched this scene, wondering if the shot was meant to be a signal to someone else, someone outside the walls. Surely firing a shot, any loud noise, would agitate and inflame the walkers, and judging from the crushing numbers of them, pressing against the outside of Alexandria’s walls, it seems like that last thing anyone would want to do is to ignite their fury for flesh and blood any further.

Upon closer inspection, it looked to me like Rick may be firing one of the orange flare guns, which makes more sense, but the shot from the gun was not looking like the firey ball of a flare.  It looked like the smoking shot of a gun. Whatever the type of gun, who is he trying to signal? It all made me extremely nervous, as it seems like a desperate, last-ditch maneuver on Rick’s part, as the horde presses against the walls en masse.

And as I watched this scene, I wondered to myself, “Why is Rick alone, when there are legions of walkers outside the walls, in unprecedented numbers? Why aren’t there snipers posted, at the ready, along the walls? Where the hell is everybody?

Alexandria has an impressive arsenal within its walls, so it would make sense that there would be people posted around, ready to take action if need be, to protect their community. So, where the fuck are they? Where are all the Anti-Rick naysayers as this is happening? Gossiping and tanking mimosas at Sunday brunch after church?

(I suppose we shall see come October and beyond, but here I sit, darlings, SMH as I write this. Please write me, darlings, and share your thoughts…I am truly at a loss, here.)

Next, we see a shot of Michonne, looking very troubled, indeed…

michonne troubled

...and we see Rick press back vainly as the wall starts to rock, and give way to the press of walkers...gulp!

…and we see Rick press back vainly as the wall starts to rock, and give way to the press of walkers…OMG! Those undead fuckers are coming through those walls, people!

In the next shot, we see Rick addressing a large group assembled in a home, presumably Deanna Monroe’s:

Among the faces in the group, we see familiar ones from our sweet gang, as well as Alexandrians we recognize, as well as ones we have yet to meet...many of those assembled are looking down, or at Rick, digesting whatever information, or plan, he is presenting.

Among the faces in the group, we see familiar ones from our sweet gang, as well as Alexandrians we recognize, as well as ones we have yet to meet…many of those assembled are looking down, or at Rick, digesting whatever information, or plan, he is presenting to them.

“We’ll make this work,..keep this place safe…” Rick asserts. He is a man on a mission. But, who is with him…and who is against him?

Daryl, of course, looks like he's on board with Rick's plan...and looking mighty fine, as usual...

Daryl  looks like he’s on board with Rick’s plan…and is looking mighty fine, as usual…

Abraham's in, of course.

Abraham’s in, of course.

We see a couple of shots which give us a preview of the Season 6 walkers, in their advanced stages of decomposition…

I have been thinking that Greg Nicotero must be using some extremely thin individuals to play some of these walkers...the makeup and styling here is just incredible.

I have been thinking that Greg Nicotero must be using some extremely thin individuals to play some of these walkers…the makeup and styling here is just incredible.

We see this walker rush forward as a man, off camera, cries,

We see this walker rush forward as a man, off camera, cries, “Help us!”

And as we see Michonne draw her katana, it appears that help is on the way...but is this inside the walls of Alexandria, or outside?

And as we see Michonne draw her katana, it appears that help is on the way…but is this taking place inside the walls of Alexandria, or outside?

fight scene 2

These shots look like they are taking place outside the walls...

These shots look like they are taking place outside the walls…

...perhaps on a goods or arms run? We shall see in due time, I suppose.

…perhaps on a goods or arms run? We shall see in due time, I suppose.

Back to Rick, addressing the group…outlining his plan:

“..keep our families safe…” Anyone who knows Rick Grimes knows he has so much invested in doing just that, and that he is the best leader for the job…

But, not everyone seems to agree…

Ah, yes. Here we are. Carter. Played by Ethan Embry, a veteran actor who starred in the coming of age classic,

Ah, yes. Here we are. Carter. Played by Ethan Embry (the veteran actor who starred in the coming-of-age classic, Can’t Hardly Wait, and who has been killing it as the late-blooming, trying-to-stay-sober son on Netflix’s Grace & Frankie) Carter makes his debut appearance in Season 6 as a character who appears to be on an anti-Rick crusade. (Um, Carter, looked like maybe it was your ass who was calling for help and getting rescued a scene or two back…so maybe you should quit naysaying and start taking some notes on how it’s done, son.)

In the next couple of scenes, we see what looks like either a goods run, or perhaps a This is how you kill some walkers” training run, because God knows these Alexandrians have a lot to learn…

We see a sizeable group of walkers charge forward, teeth bared...

We see a sizeable group of walkers charge forward, teeth bared…

...and we see Glenn, flanked by Nicholas, standing his ground and firing a gun...hopefully, Nicholas and Glenn have set aside their differences and are working together these days.

…and we see Glenn, flanked by Nicholas, standing his ground and firing a gun…hopefully, Nicholas and Glenn have set aside their differences and are working together these days.

Next, we see a shot of Rick stabbing a walker in the head, and then we see…

Morgan, squaring off with a walker, trusty wooden staff in hand. We see an outstretched hand cocking a pistol, ready to fire upon the walker, but Morgan's like,

Morgan, squaring off with a walker, trusty wooden staff in hand. We see an outstretched hand cocking a pistol, ready to fire upon the walker, but Morgan’s like, “Save your bullets…I got this.”

#kungfupimp

Morgan is a #kungfupimp

Back at the meeting, Carter has the floor…and he seems to be addressing our man, Rick Grimes

“So, we’re all just supposed to fall in line…”

…behind you? (Um, yes, Carter, that is exactly what you’re supposed to do…especially if it was your ass getting rescued back there, in the woods, and especially if the Wolfboys are bringing their walker army to push down those steel walls out there…and it really seems like they are!)

In the next scene, we see a dark-haired young man or woman running hard from a small group of pursuing walkers…he/she is sprinting out of the woods, heading right for a steep cliff…

My guess is that this young person may be Rowan, maybe acting out, like,

My guess is that this young person may be Rowan, maybe acting out, like, Rick killed my dad, so I’m going to run blindly into the woods, even though I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing out here,” and maybe Rick is tailing him, keeping an eye on him…and, of course having to save his angry, young ass…

...by making like a hot linebacker and tackling his young ass, just at the exact, perfect moment...OMG look at the fucking air he catches, and if it's Andrew Lincoln doing this stunt, and really pulling off this burly tackle...

…by making like a hot linebacker and tackling his newson to the safety of just behind that big rock, just at the exact, perfect moment.  (OMG, look at the fucking air he catches, and if it’s Andrew Lincoln doing this stunt, and really pulling off this burly tackle…

...then that shit is SO PIMP it takes my very breath away.

…then that shit is SO PIMP it takes my very breath away.)

In the next sequence, we see Rick-In-Charge bellowing orders from what looks like the top of a big rig…

The Ricktator bellows,

The Ricktator bellows, “We’re doing this now!”

To which Carter (of course) doth protest:

(whines)

“We’re not ready!”  Waaa, waaa, whiny baby sez, “We’re not ready!” “Huh? What?”  Yeah…that’s what I thought, Carter. You betta get your ass ready.

Not heeding any whiny protests, Rick-In-Charge jumps down off the big rig, screams again,

Not heeding any whiny protests from the crybaby contingent, Rick-In-Charge jumps down off the big rig, screams again, “Now!”  and actually pumps his elbow down, curling his bicep and making a fist. Yes! (I am so loving that I have no earthy idea what the hell is happening in this scene…it’s all so intriging! All I know is that the Ricktator is bringing it hot and heavy…just the way we like it.)

We see a shot of Glenn, in the foreground, whirling around to face a horde of walkers, who look to be streaming out of a store, then a shot of one walker, slipping through an opening, rotting arm outstretched, and then Rick, teeth bared and charging, full speed ahead.  And then we see…

No...oh, God..no!

Nooh, God..no

No!

No! Tara!

Not the boob...oh god, not the boob!

Not the boob, Bite The Boob Walkerfor the love of God, NOT THE BOOB!

This cannot be happening.

This cannot be happening…Tara cannot go down like this…can she? Kirkman? Gimple?

I…cannot. So, I will not. Not now. And besides, it might not even be realS&M Gimple said as much!

So, let’s forge ahead, into the placid, glassy waters of denial, and get the lingering image of the leaning in for the boob bite out of the forefront of our consciousness, shall we?

Moving right along, now…

We see an aerial view of Alexandria's makeshift cemetery, with fresh graves being dug for two more bodies. Looks like Alexandria's gonna need a bigger graveyard...

We see an aerial view of Alexandria’s makeshift cemetery, with fresh graves being dug for two more bodies. Looks like Alexandria’s gonna need a bigger graveyard…

We hear, I think, Carter’s voice over as we see a series of images, “How many of us...

Carol's looking fierce, and ever watchful, in the kitchen...

Carol looking fierce, and ever watchful, in the kitchen…

Walkers swarm around a metal dumpster, or container box...presumably someone has taken cover in there.

Walkers swarm around a metal dumpster, or container box…presumably someone has taken cover in there.

“…have to die…”

...as some poor man is pressed up against what looks like Alexandria's gate, bleeding as so many walkers surround him and begin their ungodly feasting. Ugh, poor dude!

…as some poor man is pressed up against what looks like Alexandria’s gate, bleeding as so many walkers surround him and begin their ungodly feasting. Ugh, poor dude! (I hope it’s not Tobin, because I really kind of like that guy…he seems like one of the more tolerable, and useful, Alexandrians.)

Next, we see a mysterious, silhouetted shot of Michonne, with two other characters I did not recognize, emerging from the light and the trees…

It's hard to know who this mystery figure is with Michonne and Rick...he looks taller than Morgan...new character, perhaps?

It’s hard to know who this is, with Michonne..

...but I am not sure who this other guy is. Either Gabriel's been working out, or there's a hot dude that's looking pretty great on Michonne's arm...

…maybe a rescued couple, newcomers to Alexandria?

“…before we do something?”

As we see Abraham heft a shrouded body to the ground for burial, A seems Carter's voice is echoing the murmur of dissent that is catching fire in Alexandria regarding the Ricktatorship.

As the Carter voice-over finishes, we see Abraham heft a shrouded body to the ground for burial, It seems Carter’s voice is echoing the murmur of dissent that is catching fire in Alexandria regarding the Ricktatorship.

Whatever, haters. Let’s see how you all change your tunes when you and your families are cowering your eco-friendly closets while the Wolves and their walker army are swarming the streets of Alexandria, having toppled Reg’s hallowed steel walls…

I bet your asses will be crying for Rick Grimes and his people to save you, then:   Oh, Rick! Help us! Help us keep our families safe!”   

Mmmm hmmm...and when that shit is happening, I am going to pour myself a nice big glass of I Told You So and toast the screen, “How’s that zombie apocalypse working out for you, Alexandria?” 

There is one dissenter, however, who does have a legitimate beef with the Bloody Constable

Rowan ain't feeling it with his newdad, Rick.

Rowan ain’t feeling it with his newdad, Rick. We see him, sqaring off in the kitchen with his mom, Jessie. “Rick is dangerous! he yells at her.

Jessie's all like,

Jessie’s all like,Yeah, but, sweetie, he’s so hot!”

 Amen to that, and besides, Rick Grimes knows how to survive in this new savage world, and so do his people…in the next couple of scenes, we see what looks like the new trend in Alexandrian fitness classes, Walker Boot Camp:

“Welcome to Walker Boot Camp. I am one of your instructors, Morgan Jones. Today, we will learn how to kill us some walkers.”

We hear Rick’s voice over these scenes: “These people…they’ve gotta take care of themselves.”

Deanna Monroe would be the first one to sign up for Walker Boot Camp, I am imagining, after seeing how easily her society's system, and their walls, can be breached, dismantled...destroyed. I feel she is a new convert to the Rick Grimes Method. Welcome to the fold, Mrs. Sister!

Deanna Monroe would be the first one to sign up for Walker Boot Camp, I am imagining, after seeing how easily her community, and Alexandria’s walls and gates, can be breached, dismantled…destroyed. Any weakness in this new world can be exploited, putting her people in danger. I feel Deanna Monroe will be a new convert to the Rick Grimes Method.  Welcome to the fold, Mrs. Sister! (And, p.s., I read that Tovah Feldshuh is a hardcore workout buff who does pushups in between takes…awesome!)

It seems Rick may have been addressing his last statement to Daryl, because in the next clip, Rick and Daryl are facing each other in the street:

Rick asks Daryl, point-blank,

Rick asks Daryl, point-blank, “You feel different about it?”

To which Daryl replies:

“Yeah, I do.” As usual, Daryl’s voice is soft, and his words are few, but his message carries weight, and meaning, and Rick Grimes knows this.

 One of Rick's greatest strengths as a leader is that he really listens to his people, even when their viewpoint differs from, or outright opposes, his own. Let us hope that this is the case in this scene...

One of Rick’s greatest strengths as a leader is that he really listens to his people, even when their viewpoint differs from, or outright opposes, his own. Let us hope that this is the case in this scene…

In the next series of clips, it seems that Morgan is either pacifying the the Doubting Alexandrians, or he really is buying into the Rick Grimes Smear Campaign…

“I know Rick,” Morgan’s voice says…

“I can stop him,” Morgan continues.

We see a shot of Deanna, who seems to be listening intently to Morgan's words.

We see a shot of Deanna, who seems to be listening intently to Morgan’s words.

“We have to, Morgan concludes. (Well, this ought to be interesting.)

(...especially as we see, in the next shot, a huge horde of walkers, spanning the length of the road, making their way down Reading

Especially as we see, in the next shot, a huge horde of walkers, spanning the length of the road, making their way down Redding Rd…next stop, Alexandria?

We see Glenn, leaning in towards Maggie, saying softly,

We see Glenn, leaning in towards Maggie, saying softly, “People are scared…”

Glenn continues,

Glenn continues, “You should keep an eye on her.” Maggie looks up at…who? Is Glenn talking about…

Carol?

… Carol?

The beginning strains of Hozier’s “Arsonist’s Lullabye” begin to play as we watch the next sequence…

Not to be deterred, clad in her button-down uniform or conformity, Junior League Carol smiles in the next clip, demurs,

Not to be deterred, clad in her button-down uniform of conformity, Junior League Carol smiles in the next clip, demurs, “She’s in charge…” She is most likely referring to Deanna Monroe, but we know, deep down, New Carol doesn’t believe that for a moment…

The shot pans to Rick Grimes…

rick looks up

...which quickly pans over to a shot of Morgan, as JL Carol's voice concludes,

…and then the shot pans over to Morgan, as JL Carol’s voice continues, “But, you’re in charge now.” Ah, New Carol, what are you up to now, sister? I cannot wait to find out!  🙂

We see Rick survey the view of the outside world beyond the walls of Alexandria's lookout...

We see a shot of Rick surveying the world beyond the walls from Alexandria’s lookout…

...as Rosita and Spencer, armed with rifles, patrol the ground level...

…as Rosita and Spencer, armed with rifles, patrol the ground level…

We see Morgan, looking down at Deanna, laying some hard truth on her…

“The world isn’t what you thought it was,” Morgan tells Deanna Monroe.

No, it really isn't, Deanna. It's so much worse than you ever imagined.

(No, it really isn’t, Deanna. It’s so much worse than you ever imagined.)

We see a shot of Aaron, wide-eyed and spooked…

Aaron must really be getting a hard, fast lesson on the harsh reality of the world outside...and he's actually one who's been out there!

Poor Aaron must really be getting a hard, fast lesson on the harsh reality of the world outside...and he’s actually one who’s been out there.

and then we see Carl, walking slowly, looking over at…

carl sees enid

...Enid, hugging Rowan, who seems distraught over his shitty father's death. As Enid hugs Rowan, her eyes meet Carl's over Rowan's shoulder.

…Enid, hugging Rowan, who seems distraught over his shitty father’s death at the hands of Rick Grimes. As Enid hugs Rowan, her eyes meet Carl’s over Rowan’s shoulder.

“You don’t know where you are, anymore,” Morgan’s voice over tells Deanna.

“But,” Morgan concludes, looking at Deanna significantly, “you still know your way.” Deanna closes her eyes as she listens to Morgan’s words. Surely, she is reeling from losing her youngest son, then her husband…and so much in her world is changing, so fast, with so much at stake these days.

Because, ready or not, the walkers are coming...

Because, ready or not, the walkers are coming…

...and the shit's about to go down in a big way.

…and the shit’s about to go down in a big way.

In the next clip, see Jessie whirl around, address a small group of fellow Alexandrians who appear to be gathered near her front stoop…see what happens when there’s no tv or internet any more? Neighbors get all up in each other’s biz…

This is what life looks like now!” Jessie tells the gaggle of nosy, naysaying neighbors.

Nosy neighbors be bingewatching Jessie TV.

Nosy neighbors be bingewatching Jessie TV.

We see a shot of poor Enid, probably from the days before, when she was surviving, alone, in the feral open…

...huddled behind the meager refuge of a felled wooden sign.

…huddled behind the meager refuge of a felled wooden sign.

We see a close-up shot of Daryl, with Sasha in the background...it looks like they are at some kind of quarry, perhaps.

We see a close-up shot of Daryl, with Sasha in the background…it looks like they are at some kind of quarry, perhaps, or construction site.

We hear Jessie’s voice over continue, as she tells her Alexandrian viewing audience:

“We have to fight it, because if we don’t, we die.” (Later, they were all like, “Didn’t you just love that one when she was all like, ‘We have to fight, or we die?’ OMG, so epic...that was like, totally one of my favorite episodes!”)

Next, we see a shot of Michonne's face as she peers through some slats...we see the shadowy movements of many figures on the other side of the barricade that Michonne is peering through...

Next, we see a shot of Michonne’s face as she peers through the slats of some sort of barricade…we see the shadowy movements of many figures through the slats…

...as she whispers,

…as Michonne whispers, “They’re coming.”

And “they”, aka the walkers, certainly seem to have found their way into the sustainable town of Alexandria, or at least one of them has…

Remember Sam's closet, the one that Jessie installed a lock on the inside, for Sam to hide in when McBeaty went on one of his drunken abuser sprees?

Remember Sam’s closet, the one that Jessie installed a lock on, on the inside door, for Sam to hide in when McBeaty went on one of his drunken abuser sprees?

It appears that Jessie and Sam are crouched, hiding in that closet, with Jessie clutching a handgun...

It appears that Jessie and Sam are crouched, hiding in that closet, with Jessie clutching a handgun…

...as something lurking outside utters a gutteral, inhuman noise.

…as something lurking outside utters a guttural, inhuman growl.

We next see a shot of Deanna Monroe, saying:

“He’s been out there…”

“…he’s faced it…”

“We are going to trust him,” Deanna continues, addressing her fellow citizens, regarding (ostensibly) her questionable constable, Rick Grimes.

alexandrians

And the shot pans to Morgan as Deanna adds, seemingly addressing Morgan,

And the shot pans to Morgan as Deanna adds, looking pointedly at Morgan, “All. Of. Us.”

Oris Deanna looking atDaryl?

Daryl? Buddy? Why are you in that room, amongst the Rick-Haters?

Daryl? Buddy? Why are you in that room, amongst the Rick-Haters?

In the next series of clips…

...walkers be crashing through the window and shit...

walkers be crashing through the window and shit

walkers be crashing through the window 3walkers be crashing through the window 2

walkers be crashing through the window 4

Glenn, and Heath, I think, are on it…target practice day at Walker Boot Camp.

As the walkers crash through the storefront window and lurch towards them, Glenn blows a walker's brains away...perfect aim.

As the walkers crash through the storefront window and lurch towards them, Glenn blows a walker’s brains away…perfect aim.

We see a shot of Morgan, who seems to be giving someone the biz…

If you’ve chosen this life, you will die,” Morgan tells…who? And who really “chose” this life, any of this? 

Is Morgan talking to Rick? Deanna? Someone else?

Is Morgan talking to Rick? Deanna?

We see Nicholas, going hand-to-hand with a walker, something he didn't know how to do, before...

We see Nicholas, going hand-to-hand with a walker, something he didn’t know how to do, before…

We see a shot of a figure running through the woods, who looks a bit like Carol, and then we see a shot of Rick, running though the woods, barking orders into a walkie…

“We gotta keep moving!”

We see a group of what looks like Alexandrians, running through the woods, and then we see a shot of Nicholas, in the woods, holding a pistol ready, looking pale and spooked:

nicholas in woods

And then we see…

Carol, crouched behind a bush, watching...

Carol, crouched behind a bush, watching…

...what? What the hell...?

what? What the hell…is happening? 

And, who the fuck...? What the shit is happening, here??

And, who…who the fuckand, why? And is that happening inside the walls of Alexandria?  Just what the shit is going on, here? Talk to me, people! (Read note below, when you get there, and you’ll know that I have an idea now what this is all about…)

We see two peeps, shining flashlights and walking through a darkened pipe or sewer system…and then we see, and hear, this clip of Morgan:

Morgan lays it down,

Morgan lays it down, “You get the hell outta here and you don’t ever come back.”

Um, say what? You’re not talking to Rick Grimes like that, are you, Morgan? 

Because Rick Smash! does not take kindly to threats...or ultimatums.

Because Rick Smash! does not take kindly to threats…or ultimatums.

I really didn’t know what the hell was happening in these next clips, but I was wondering if all these Walker Boot Camp killing classes were perhaps unleashing some pent up anger and aggression in the once-complacent citizens of Alexandria…now I know that there are many out there in our TWD fanosphere who believe that some living members of the Wolves have broken into the Alexandrian borders in the dark of night, using, no doubt, Reg’s helpful support bracings placed thoughtfully on the outside of the walls to scramble up and over the walls…poor guy didn’t really think that one through.

Perhaps street vigilante justice will reign in Alexandria...

Perhaps street vigilante justice will now reign in Alexandria… “Those dirty bitches never took their trashcans in after garbage collection day…ever! And they never fucking recycled!” (Joking aside, upon further investigation upon my intuition, I believe now, as do many others, that the above picture shows Cape Carol blowing away two live members of the Wolves who have broken into Alexandria and are killing hapless citizens, looting…you know, just doing their Wolf-thing.  Cape Carol sez, “Not on my watch, punk-ass bitches!“)

carl and gun

TWD fan theorists also echoed my suspicions that this individual who Morgan is smacking the fuck down looks more like a live person than a walker...a live member of the Wolves, perhaps. It is also being suggested that Morgan's

TWD fan theorists also echoed my suspicions that this individual who Morgan is smacking the fuck down looks more like a live person than a walker…a live member of the Wolves, perhaps. It is also being suggested that Morgan’s “Get outta town” scene is being spoken to a member of the Wolves, not Rick. <whew!>

rick slices walker morgan and staff in house

All I know is, peeps in Alexandria are pretty on edge, these days...

All I know is, peeps in Alexandria seem pretty on edge, these days…

And then, the now-iconic moment of the trailer…as we hear the menacing voice of Rick Smash! grind out:

“You really think you’re going to take this community from us?”

“From Daryl?”

“From Michonne?”

walker stampede

“From Glenn?”

It looks like Glenn and Nicholas are holding the line, together, against a huge rush of walkers...inside Alexandria!

It looks like Glenn and Nicholas are holding the line, together, against a huge rush of walkers…inside Alexandria! <gulp!>

“From ME??” 

(See, I told you that Rick Smash! doesn’t like threats, or ultimatums!)

We see a shot of Rick, looking all crazy, driving what I think is the R.V....

We see a shot of Rick, looking all crazy, driving what I think is the R.V….

And now, three orange balloons, tied to the R.V. ...what is the deal with all this balloon symbolism?

And now, three orange balloons, tied to the R.V.  What is the deal with all this balloon symbolism?

And here come the walkers...

And here come the walkers…

We see a shot of Abraham, leaning out a shotgun side car windown, bellowing, “Don’t do it, man!” as our man, Daryl Dixon, speeds ahead on his motorcycle…charging something…or, someone, it seems. 

We see yet another horrible image of a walker feasting on some poor somebody...

We see yet another horrible image of a walker feasting on some poor somebody…

...probably someone from Enid's family, while the poor girl must watch from the safety of a locked car or truck.

…probably someone from Enid’s family, while the poor girl must watch from the safety of a locked car or truck. Looks like we’ll be seeing some backstory on Enid…

We hear a man’s voice bellow, “They’re coming!” as Spencer takes aim…

spencer aims spencer sniper walker on the street daryl aims

It seems pretty certain that the walkers are coming to Alexandria, people…sooner than later!

But, praise Baby Jesus, Rick Smash! is already here…and nobody, I mean nobody, puts Rick Smash! in the corner, or outside the walls of Alexandria, or anywhere he doesn’t want to be!

We hear Rick Smash!’s voice grind out:

“Do you have any idea…

“…who you’re…”

“…talking to?”

(Mmmm hmmmm…I don’t know who he’s talking to, but, by golly, I like the manliness, the menace… J’adore, Rick Smash!❤ ❤

We see a shot of Rick, offing a walker in the woods, in his beautiful berzerker-style, then we see…

We see another shot of Rosita and Spencer, on lookout at the wall...is this a becoming a thing, Rosita and Spencer? Because that would be weird...

…another shot of Rosita and Spencer, on lookout at the wall, which is surrounded by walkers…is this a becoming a thing, Rosita and Spencer? Because that would be weird…

These Wall Walkers are really hurting Alexandria's buzz...

These Wall Walkers are really hurting Alexandria’s buzz…

We see a shot of Aaron and Maggie, shining flashlights in the water or sewage pipes…maybe some rotting walkers have gotten in the water supply…we see a close call of Aaron slipping as a rotted walker claws towards him in the piping. Yikes!

aaron and maggie

Cobwebby Walker is metal as fuck...how I love him! <3

Cobwebby Walker is metal as fuck and I love him. ❤

aaron and water walker

This sequence is followed by a shot of what looks like Alexandria’s infirmary, with Aaron and others holding some poor person who looks like they may have been gored by a walker attack, or a live Wolf attack…

OMG, if this is Eric, Aaron's cute bf, I am going to freak the fuck out...

OMG, if this is Eric, Aaron’s cute bf, I am going to freak the fuck out…

Looks like shit’s getting cray in Alexandria…we all betta get ready…

Is that someone on fire getting pitched over the Alexandrian walls, from the inside?

Is that someone on fire getting pitched over the Alexandrian walls, from the inside?

And are all these walkers swarming...

And are all these walkers swarming…

...inside the walls of Alexandria?

…inside the walls of Alexandria?

I guess we’ll find out, come October and beyond…but for many #TWD fans, not soon enough!  

And now, who the fuck is this guy? And why is he pointing a gun at our man, Daryl Dixon?

“Here’s the deal…you don’t say shit, and I don’t kill you…”

Daryl, who is tied up, lying against a tree, tells the man,

Daryl, who is tied up, lying against a tree, tells the man, “I ain’t who you think I am.” The man responds by pulling the safety on the gun and holding it closer to Daryl’s head…

A nightmarish series of images ensues, showing Daryl alone, in the woods, walkers, characters we don’t yet know running for their lives…

What the hell is going on with Daryl, and why is he alone?

What the hell is going on with Daryl, and why is he alone? Stay strong, Daryl Dixon! <3<3

Well, loves, I am knee-sliding it under the wire…Fear The Walking Dead premieres tonight, and my WD buddy just texted me that Talking Dead’s Season 6 premiere episode airs at 8pm…and the kids aren’t in bed yet! I gotta get moving to make this all happen, so here goes:

This post’s Deadie goes to Scott “Maestro” Gimple, of course…for kicking our asses, time and time again.  Bravo, Maestro!

I will be posting pictures and playlists for #FTWD, darlings…much love, and enjoy!

And, as there is a war of the ideologies happening, The Old Way v. The New Way, I thought that this playlist should feature some old-school classics v the new sound the kids are putting out these days…it’s all beautiful music, just a friendly rivalry, a spirited wrassle around the floor…a few heirlooms may get smashed to pieces, but it’s all good, my #TWD obsessed darlings. Much love! 

Old School v. New Skool Playlist:

Notorious B.I.G, “Mo Money, Mo Problems”

v.

Modest Mouse, “The Ground Walks, With Time In A Box”

Thin Lizzy, ” The Boys Are Back In Town”

v.

Great Northern, “Numbers”

Blind Faith, “Can’t Find My Way Home”

v.

X Ambassadors, “Renegades”

Rolling Stones, “Gimme Shelter”

v. 

Daft Punk/Panda Bear, “Doin’ It Right”

Suicidal Tendencies, “Institutionalized” (You complete me, Rick Smash! <3)

v.

Wolf Alice, “Bros”

2Pac, “Hail Mary”

v.

Jamie XX, “I Know There’s Gonna Be (Good Times)”

One thought on “barnfullawalkers v. The TWD Season 6 Trailer: The Breakdown

  1. Hey gang, these posts are always a work in progress, and sometimes in the proofreading/editing process, I start to rework something and then go to something else, and sometimes stuff doesn’t make sense for a minute…or a day. Check back in, and most likely, I’ve gotten a moment to go back and work the bugs out.

    BTW, loving FTWD! What did you guys think of it? Pics and playlist for FTWD pilot episode coming soon!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s